BEST ISN’T ALWAYS BETTER

 

#1: We Are Not Machines

We live in a world of hyper-accelerating technology complete with AI robots that can do many things humans can do, except better and faster. Additionally, constant connectivity paired with pocket supercomputers exponentially increases our flow of information. As a result, keeping up with our work and home lives, not to mention the news, can feel like drinking from a firehose. And along with this warp-speed pace of life, expectations for us to be better and deliver more continue to ratchet up. There’s nothing wrong with technology enabling us to live and work more efficiently. But when technology dictates the tempo of our lives - with little consideration for the humans living those lives - that inherent stress will inevitably cause us harm - both physically and mentally. As proud as we are - and should be - of our cutting-edge machines, we are not them. Each of us has a collection of feelings and emotions that must be integrated into daily living. That integration requires off-line downtime for percolating, contemplating, and growing from our life experiences. And the non-robotic imperfections we have, along with the mistakes we make, are invaluable to this process. In fact, one of the most gratifying aspects of being human is developing the perseverant grit to humbly learn our lessons and not give up after we get something wrong. In our increasingly digital culture of more-faster-bigger-better at all costs, it’s worth pausing to ask ourselves, “Am I still in charge of who I am and what I’m becoming… or is this insanely chaotic world beginning to dictate that?”

#2: It’s Not Worth It

Every internal combustion engine is designed to run within certain parameters. Exceeding those parameters causes the engine to overheat and triggers a warning light. If the warning is ignored, heat and pressure build, gaskets fail, components melt, and the engine destroys itself. And now, instead of the minor inconvenience of pulling over for a $10 bottle of engine coolant, you’ve got a multi-thousand-dollar, time-consuming repair on your hands. This is an apt metaphor for the danger of driving yourself too hard. Heart conditions, depression, and substance abuse are just a few “engine overheat” warning lights. A “coolant” which helps avert these conditions is the counterintuitive realization that not only is doing your best good enough, but doing less than your best is also good enough. For a variety of factors - including poor sleep, relationship issues, or a simple headache - your best isn’t always available… and that’s OK. When you just show up giving whatever it is you have to give that day, that will always be enough… and if it’s not enough for others, that’s on them, not on you. Whatever they want that’s beyond your ability to responsibly give is not worth you jeopardizing your physical and mental health to give it. This is as true in your personal life as it is in your work life. You can’t help other drivers put out their personal fires if your own metaphorical engine is on fire. The trick is not to let your self-worth depend on others’ judgments of how well you show up to meet their expectations. Show up for yourself first, and then take care of others’ needs.

#3: Embrace Letting Go

Though unconscious for some, there’s a central goal we all share. It sponsors most of what we choose to do and choose not to do. When we’ve achieved this goal, we hardly notice it. But if we haven’t achieved it, it’s all we can think about. This fundamental goal is peace of mind… and there are two key parts of achieving it. The first part, as we’ve covered, is giving to life and to others whatever effort you have the capacity to responsibly give. The second part is letting go of the result after you’ve given your effort. When you emotionally tie yourself to a result over which you no longer have control, you automatically steer yourself down the dark road of anxiety. Most people experiencing anxiety, while anticipating a result, suffer from a lack of self-acknowledgement. The good effort you give always stands in noble independence from its result. It’s healthy to be proud of your effort even prior to knowing its outcome. Furthermore, living in fear of a possible outcome you don’t like puts you in an argument with reality. And that’s an argument you’ll never win. Having a little faith or at least entertaining the notion that life will unfold as it needs to - despite whether you currently understand why - will instantly bring you greater peace of mind. When you adopt the accepting mindset of, “It is what it is,” this paradoxically puts you in an open frame of mind to harmoniously work with whatever comes next.

Of course, when you’re gripped by fear about the future, having faith is easier said than done. Fear, though, is fed by the mind’s tendency to react to the unknown by projecting itself into a negative, imaginary future. Refuse to let your mind take you there, and instead, decide to stay here… grounded in the present. That decision enables you to have peace of mind in the middle of what others might call chaos. Taking a breath and hitting the brakes on your spinning thoughts, you’ll react to adversity much differently. You’ll have a calm patience that doesn’t react with rage or panic… and doesn’t rush to negative conclusions. And you’ll remember the comical wisdom of the beloved, 19th century American writer, Mark Twain, who once said, “I’ve gone through so many terrible things in my life, a few of which actually happened.”

 

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