ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE & LIFE

 

#1:  Life Is Not a Game of Roulette

No one can legitimately accuse a roulette wheel in a credible casino of being unfair. The wheel spins, the ball lands on a red or black number, and fortunes are won and lost. It’s regarded as a straightforward game of fun and luck… hopefully, not bankruptcy and addiction. Some believe that life is also a game of luck. When we “win,” we see life as a benevolent friend. But when we “lose,” we’re quick to cast life as a villain and ourselves as its victim. And that’s what triggers the “life is unfair” and “life is cruel” mantras we often use to deal with hardship and to vent frustration.

There’s a liability that comes with believing life is a cold, random, and unfair game of chance. If there’s no order or purpose in the way things unfold, why bother putting so much effort into something that can implode with the flip of a coin? As science teaches us, however, there are ever new discoveries of patterns, laws, and principles - previously invisible to us - that just keep coming. And the more scientists discover, the more they understand how much more there is to discover. The circumstances and experiences of our lives are no different. Despite our temporarily limited perspective, reality is much deeper and more profound than the spin of a wheel or the roll of dice. There is pattern and meaning behind everything that happens to us - good or bad - even down to the smallest, seemingly insignificant detail. To see that hidden matrix of meaning, we just need to use the right tools in the right way.

#2:  To Find Fairness, Lighten Up and Get Humble

As a species, we’ve come a long way and should be proud of our progress. But there’s an inverse relationship between progress and ego. The more we think we’re masters of the Universe, the more the Universe steps in to bring us down to Earth, so to speak. One thing that stops progress in its tracks is an overreliance on thought. That’s because some of the highest truths are accessed through feeling, not thought (Love is a good example.) When we expand our view of life’s possibilities beyond what we can intellectually prove, we automatically upgrade our tool of perception. A simple, humble admission that not seeing something doesn’t mean it isn’t there, is enough to widen our wisdom. (That’s the same admission, by the way, that astronomers are forced to make every time they build a more powerful telescope.)

This isn’t a case for blindly believing anything; this is a case for integrating intuition with your discerning thought process. It’s an invitation to approach life by not necessarily trying to see something, but by being ready to see anything. When we’re open to being wrong or surprised, life will take us on a spectacular ride that rekindles a childlike sense of wonder. Not to get too religious, but one of the most often quoted verses from the Bible points to this truth: “To enter the kingdom of heaven, you must be like little children.” One interpretation of “entering the kingdom of heaven” is simply growing into greater awareness, and as a result, experiencing more joy and less suffering. Childlike humility and loosening your grip on what you think you know will help you do that.

When you start to feel beyond whatever apparent, unfair calamity is in front of you, the mess you see gets transformed. You behold it instead as an integral piece of a larger picture that was hidden behind your rigid assumptions about how life works and what circumstances ultimately mean. That’s when the concept of unfairness starts to crumble… and that’s when true reality - the reality of life’s inherent beauty, order, and fairness - reveals itself.

Naturally, lofty truths are usually coupled with paradox. In concert with this new understanding that life always unfolds as it needs to, it serves humanity to peacefully stand up for those who’re mistreated. This creates a more compassionate world as well as an opportunity for those who act insensitively to better understand the effect of their ignorant choices… and eventually, to grow from them.

#3:  Fairness Is in the Long-Term Spiritual, Not the Short-Term Physical

If you’re earnestly interested in piercing the veil of unfairness, consider that “unfair” is a short-term judgment that’s disconnected from long-term outcomes. And by long-term, I mean your soul’s perspective of long-term, not your body’s perspective. The soul is the eternal part of you that’s deeply connected to higher truth. It’s your mind that misinterprets life and jumps to conclusions while only seeing the surface of reality, not its depths. There’s no sidestepping the fact that if you remain out of touch with your soul and live only in your mind, you will be pulled into a perspective that experiences unfairness. Fear and confusion then result because you’ll be stuck in a short-term view of life, believing that your life as well as the ability to reconcile unfairness, have an expiration date.

The magnificent truth is that everyone’s life is much bigger than that. Our stories stretch far beyond what we can presently recall, and the hardships and unfairness we experience are disguised doorways to personal growth and grander love. “But why all the forgetfulness, drama, and role-play?” you might ask. That, of course, is part of the mystery. Arguably, life is more interesting and more engaging with intrigue… it gives us something to solve… something to become. It gives us a sense of accomplishment as we navigate through this labyrinth of adventure we created for ourselves. It is said that a destination or goal becomes much sweeter when one has earned it versus just waking up in the castle, to use a metaphor. Every soul’s journey is unique, but eventually - across an unfathomable eternity - all our paths lead to the same destination of love and light.

 

( Feel free to ask questions or post comments on this website’s social media links )

 

Posted in Uncategorized