THE ALLURE OF ATTRACTION

 

#1:  Attractive Is as Attractive Does

The male hammer-headed bat looks like a made-up creature. Its head is equal parts hippopotamus, gargoyle, mule, and goblin. Despite its imposing profile and 3-foot wingspan, this West African gentle giant is harmless and attacks only fruit trees. It does, however, find itself on many top-10 lists of the ugliest animals on Earth. Though it may be hideous to our eyes, hammer-headed bats are, of course, attracted to other hammer-headed bats. So, at least they think they’re beautiful. This illustrates the obvious: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Beyond physical beauty and attraction, there’s the factor of personality that can heavily influence how attractive we find someone or something. For instance, you could encounter the cutest dog you’ve ever seen; but if that dog viciously bites you, the cuteness you perceived will disappear quickly. The same is true for our fellow humans’ behavior and how it interconnects with their attractiveness. Behavior is the often-unseen sponsor of attractiveness. What many people eventually learn (sometimes the hard way) is that - in the end - behavior is what matters most. It can transform what initially didn’t attract us into something that magically attracts us… and vice versa.

#2:  Beauty Always Is

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “That’s a face only a mother could love.” Although usually used in jest, this phrase points to a profound truth about love. A mother’s love for her child is typically unconditional. No matter what the child does, or much less looks like, their mother and father usually cannot erase the love they feel for them. This is a divine quality of parenthood which, not all but many have been fortunate to experience. Love like that (which can just as easily exist between any two people) endures through whatever life may bring. But getting back to the matter of attractiveness, everyone - without exception - has beautiful qualities within. And by “within,” I’m referring to the inherent beauty of each person’s soul; a beauty which exists regardless of any physical or behavioral imperfections. It doesn’t matter if someone has a severely deformed face, or if they’re a severely mentally ill serial killer on death row. No part of this vast creation we live in is completely devoid of the potential for love and beauty… however hidden, latent, or seemingly impossible it is to see that beauty. When the mother of a killer still holds love in her heart for her child despite what they’ve done, simple math tells us that this magnitude of love must come from a deep, fathomless source of universal love - a love far vaster than that of a single person’s heart. This God-like love outranks the limited simplicity of a human need to classify people (or souls) as good or evil, not to mention attractive or unattractive. The point is that life, love, and beauty all have far deeper dimensions than most minds can currently understand… at least until they grow into that understanding.

It doesn’t matter what you look like or what you’ve done. You are beautiful. Full stop. Whether the world sees this is irrelevant. And if you can’t see this in yourself, you’re not looking hard enough. Granted, everyone is capable of saying and doing things that aren’t beautiful and are sometimes even horrific. But those things aren’t who we are. They are examples of souls stumbling their way through eternity… from lifetime to lifetime… out of the shadows of ignorance and offensiveness, and eventually into the light of awareness and becoming ever more beautiful.

#3:  Stewardship Enhances Beauty

For reasons that might be temporarily outside your awareness, the way you physically look is perfectly suited to the life you’re living right now. You’ve been given (and on some level have chosen) the perfect “equipment” to get the most out of this lifetime while experiencing what you came here to experience. And your soul, all the while growing, is continually learning how to create greater happiness in your life and in the lives of others. In the context of this timeless, magnificent, and sometimes agonizing process, we have constant choices about how to care (or not to care) for our bodily equipment. Life is an exercise in doing what we can with what we’ve got. Ever seen one of those home makeover shows where skilled designers turn a broken-down wreck of a house into a jaw-dropping masterpiece? No matter how much we’ve neglected our bodies (or our lives), we can all choose to be like those designers.

For starters, there are basic maintenance practices that not only enhance our appearance but also enhance our physical and mental health. Continuing the home makeover metaphor, perhaps after a “home inspection,” your doctor has written up a few “fire hazards” concerning your diet and exercise habits. If you heed those warnings, you’ll find that adjusting your lifestyle to become a better steward of your current “home” improves your mental health, your physical health, and even your appearance. Remember, though… any enhancements you make or aspire to make should be done for yourself first. Your beauty shines brightest when you’re not trying to be someone else’s idea of beautiful, but rather when you’re expressing your beauty in your own way. But above all - physically, mentally, and spiritually - don’t wait for others to see the beauty in you before you see it in yourself.

 

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