WHAT LOVE IS

#1:  Love Is a Force of Biology

As strange as it seems, several religious and spiritual traditions have teachers - including priests, monks, nuns, and yogis - who experience great fulfillment and illumination from a devoted life of celibacy. Over millennia, many of these individuals have reported experiences - often in meditation - of extreme bliss, ecstasy, and rapture that far exceed any physical or sexual stimulation known to humankind. From the perspective of these renunciant souls, humanity generally lives in a state of spiritual pre-puberty. As they see it, most people are innocently ignorant of higher, transcendent pleasures… happily going about their days as “normal” human beings. But setting aside extreme abstention in pursuit of Nirvana, breathtaking spiritual experiences and physical intimacy are not mutually exclusive. And although celibacy is one spiritual path, it’s undeniable that physical attraction is built into the human experience and shouldn’t be vilified… anymore than someone who chooses vanilla over chocolate should vilify chocolate. They’re just different flavors of life that have different experiences.

If there’s one thing physical attraction shows us, though, it’s that life is geared toward joining and merging. Biology itself coaxes us to become closer to each other. Our natural state is to be connected, and that’s why some of the most sublime and pleasurable experiences happen when we share ourselves - physically, mentally, or spiritually. The closer we get to each other on any of these levels, the more we tend to understand and love one another.

#2: Love Is a Recognition of Self

Much like the flow of electricity, love needs a pathway. When we see something in another that attracts us, what we perceive in them must first be present - in some form - within us. That’s what creates the “circuit” of love. We resonate with others’ kindness or confidence… with their compassion or generosity… and with their selflessness or courage. Even if these traits are aspirational for us, we admire them in others because we subconsciously know that we have that same potential within us. We also intuitively know that being closer to the people we admire helps us develop the best parts of ourselves, however latent those parts may be.

We’re all unique pieces of a vast Universe, yet within each of us is limitless Universal potential. In that sense, every one of us shares the same cosmic DNA. The cliché “We are all one” is casually thrown around in popular culture. But that particular cliché captures the most profound realization in the human experience… a realization of unity and love that has the power to end war, eradicate poverty, and abolish neglect.

#3: Love Is the Purpose of Life

Anything we learn in life of true importance centers around love. It is the ultimate teacher. We move from circumstance to circumstance, drama to drama, relationship to relationship… all to learn about and go deeper into love’s fathomless depths. And what do we learn? We learn that love is accepting. It doesn’t try to fix or change anyone, nor does it impose itself or force someone to face something they’re not ready to face. Love lacks the atmosphere of obligation, agenda, and even expectation. Its purest essence is found when we can say to another, “I want for you what you want for you.” We also learn that love itself never hurts. Mistakenly perceiving we’ve lost it or naïvely concluding we’ll never find it again is what hurts. Love simplifies everything the mind makes complicated. We can’t think love… we can only feel love. It isn’t something we can capture or even become. When we let go of animosity, love automatically shines through. It’s the most powerful force there is… it’s the one enduring thing that shapes our world and makes life worth living. Love is the fabric of existence. Everyone has it, though some have simply forgotten they have it.

When we use love enough, we discover that it’s a mystical aspect of life that’s unaffected by the passage of time or the separation of distance. No one can stop us from loving. And ultimately, with its perpetual offer of forgiveness and reconciliation, love eventually melts away all hatred and hostility. Feelings of authentic joy, experiences of true happiness, times when life just makes sense… all these encounters happen when we choose to love - especially in the face of nonlove.

Looking back on our lives, when it’s time to move on to another adventure, the one question that will matter most to us is, “Did I love, or did I fail to love?” Life itself is one grand opportunity to grow in unconditional love for ourselves and for each other. Love is the fundamental reason we are here, and it’s the highest answer to any question.

 

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